Friday, July 9, 2010

I Dream of You Draped in Wires and Leaning on the Brakes

Well, I have quit smoking. Astonishingly easily, as well. I take one little blue pill when I wake up and then another one around midnight and that's that. I have been a bit more bytchy I suppose, but then, I'm quitting smoking. The worst part has been the evacuation of my lungs--about 11 years of crap has been coming up, and it hurts to be perfectly honest: my throat is hoarse from the dry hacking.

I still am completely incapable of managing money. J. and I somehow spent (collectively) roughly $1,000 in less than a week (food, drugs, dancing, movies, whothefuckknowswhatall). At least I am smart enough to make sure my bills are paid before I binge--or is it vomit?--money. We are kids with money burning holes in our pockets (or at least I am--but then, out of nowhere one day the b/f just drops a bunch of money on a bong that rips like a motherfucker, so he does it too, but at least on things that we still use... I often spend my money on an affective experience (a movie, a drink, a dinner, drugs, ect...) but he uses his money.)

All of this is so exquisitely vulgar. I love it. Crude, so handled, and wrinkled--like Brent Corrigan's asshole. (Zoom in for money shot.)

But now I'm sorta pissed. I've run up against a number of administrative red-tape blockades. For instance: to see a doctor I have to go to my school's clinic and then get a referral. Absent such a referral, I am charged $50 to see a doctor per visit. Well, in order to go see some one at my school's clinic I have to pay a $250 summer fee. Haha, brilliant. Or, the manner in which insurance doesn't cover some things. All of this has produced a pile of bills (well, hyperbole there)--but enough bills to make the sort of extravagances of last week a sadly now extinct phenomenon.

Let's see tho:
1) the Writer was in rare form for the 4th. I half wanted to cock smack him, and half just smack him. We had fun.
2) New Tulips are cool, esp. the DJ, who is a true sweetheart.
3) J. got a new bike, and it rides reallllll fucking smooth. He looks super hot. Hipsters beware!
4) 3ways are slightly over-rated. What was hot: getting fucked by my b/f while he was getting fucked by someone else. There is something Lacanian about this: the Phallus I want is in the vase (not my asshole, but J.'s)--what is nice, and maybe poor Jacques would have known this were he a fag--is that you can get this phallus in the vase: switch positions. Hottest, though: the sheer flattery of the whole damn thing. We will probably do all of this again sometime.
5) Fembots have feelings too. (Robyn and Scissor Sisters albums are really, really good.)
6) Re-writing my MA thesis (again), but this time with 2 years distance. I am finally (I think) on to what it was I wanted to say. Introduction sections are the pits, though. I hate them.
7) Spending more time in Wicker Park. It's a bizarre part of the city. No one is THAT cool. Except me. (And we know THAT's a lie.)
8) Making porno is hot.
9) J. moved last week and we were hauling all sorts of shit all over the place and that was fun. Better still, his Momma and lil brother showed up to help and that whole little family time went well. I was sorta nervous, and so was J. but we were both happy it went well.

I'm just sorta bothered. For no reason. Well, some reason. I need to plan a vacation, and then, on top of that study for a preliminary exam. Haha, whatever.

"Love hurts when you do it right: you can cry when you get older."

1 comment:

William said...

I too share you pain when money passes through your literal and proverbial hands like coolade through a sieve. But hey there's no point in piling funds like Disney's Uncle Scrooge's money bin cause the sole function of money is to provide the means for experiences right?